Barrie
Davenport from her self-improvement blog Pick
the Brain, says, “Young women today see more images of exceptionally
beautiful women in one day than our mothers saw throughout their entire teenage
years.” Jean Kilbourne, who has studied women in advertising for forty years,
agrees that women have become more sexualized and more prominent in media. We
are bombarded with these images of the “ideal” beauty that are only achievable
by less than 2% of females.
There is
such a stress on female beauty, and I don’t think it’s something we
can escape so easily. It feels good to be beautiful. Many ads prey on women’s
insecurities about their looks that we as women buy into. I’m generalizing,
because I know women who perceive beauty differently and only care that they
look presentable.
What
saddens me most is the beauty that many women don’t see within themselves. This
is a problem when it creates self-esteem issues and lowers confidence. Also, I
believe every woman is entitled to feel beautiful. In 2011, Dove conducted a
study called The Real Truth About
Beauty: Revisited that found only 4% of women
worldwide consider themselves beautiful.
The problem
isn’t that women aren’t beautiful; it’s that they don’t feel beautiful and don’t
see themselves as beautiful. It is very easy to look at and focus on only our
flaws. In fact, anyone can do this and most people do. It takes strength to focus
on the good aspects about ourselves. So, here are some practical tips that I
have found (some I modified and added) to help women feel beautiful:
1.
Smile
– for yourself and others; smiles are contagious and we all find them more
attractive than non-smiling faces
2.
Find
features about yourself that you like –
“When your eyes take in something that pleases you, your brain's reward
system is activated, lifting your whole mood,” says Nancy Etcoff, PhD, director
of the Program in Aesthetics and Well Being
3.
View
yourself as a loved one views you – “with appreciation and acceptance, not
criticism”
4.
Have good
posture – stand or sit straight with shoulders back and chest open; “When
your posture is erect, the message it gets is: I feel good about myself.”
5.
Appreciate
your flaws – because every single person in the world has flaws, but flaws
have every potential to be beautiful depending on the way we look at them
6.
Say
“thank you” – we have the
tendency to deflect compliments when they are given; just accept it and take it
into consideration
7.
Wear
comfortable clothes – wear cute/elegant comfortable clothes in the size you
are now; “When you wear clothes in the smaller size that you want to be (or
once were), the feeling of constriction sends a constant signal to your brain
that you're not thin enough.”
8.
Be
expressive – let the fullness of your beautiful personality come through
9.
Get
Excited – be enthusiastic about life
10. Exercise – exercising releases
endorphins that will make you feel happy and better about yourself afterward
11. Show kindness – you’ll be doing others
a great service
12. Compliment sincerely – people love to
be told genuine nice things about themselves; it will also make you feel good
to make someone else feel good
13. Create something – creativity is a
great outlet that allows us to physically see what we have accomplished
14. Stop your thoughts – whenever your
thoughts are getting too negative, just stop them and think about something
more positive
15. Hug often – physical touch is a great
way to help others and yourself feel better
16. Dance – alone or with friends, dance
like no one is watching and just have fun
17. Dress up – just because you feel like
it and for no special occasion
18. Tell yourself that you are beautiful –
in front of a mirror, alone, or with loved ones; admit the words out loud and
listen to your voice say them
19. Be a role model – you’ll be surprised
how differently you’ll see yourself when you know someone is looking up to you
There are
many ways to feel beautiful. You can find a lot just by looking it up in
Google. What’s most important is having a beautiful heart, which means do
things for others often, no matter how small. Expect nothing in return.
Jacqueline
Novogratz discovered another view on beauty in a Mumbai slum. In her article “What
Are You Doing When You Feel Most Beautiful?” She interviewed a group of women.
After listening to their hardships, she thought there must be times of real
joy, so she asked them, “What are you doing when you feel most beautiful?” At
first all of the women had trouble answering and one said they can never feel
beautiful, “Our lives are too miserable. They are too difficult. We fight just
to make it to the end of each day.”
Then one of
the women talked about her job as a gardener. She works hard on a small patch,
and when she sees the flowers bloom, she feels beautiful. Then the rest of the
women talked about their accomplishments that give them pride and make them
feel beautiful. Bovagratz believes, “Freedom is what beauty feels like when it
can most express itself. It has to do with the ability to express yourself in
both big and small ways.”
“Beauty is
in the eye of the beholder” – a common saying. This time you are the beholder.
How will you choose to perceive yourself?
*Tips found from Oprah’s online magazine in the article, “Empower
Yourself: 11 Ways to Feel Beautiful,” and Barrie Davenport’s blog Pick the Brain, “36 Ways to Feel
Absolutely Beautiful.”
Sources:
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