“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr
I am the product of a broken family with many broken lives in a broken world. It’s true for you too, isn’t it? When I was younger, I used to feel like I had to fix every problem I came across, whether they were my own or not. I saw so many problems in my family that were out of my control to fix that I sought control by trying to fix every other problem around me. That’s why I liked math so much. Every problem had a solution.
It’s taken
me most of my life to realize that there are problems out of my control and
things I don’t need to fix. I actually started to recognize this in one of my
theology classes in college. My professor told our class that it’s not our job
to evangelize (convert others to Christianity), because God can very well do
that on His own. He’ll use us when needed. This was a strange concept to me. It
meant relinquishing any power I thought I had over others and giving it up to
God.
I know
there are those who are not religious or do not believe in God. Regardless, I
find that many people have a spirituality of their own, whether it’s believing
in a higher power, fate, destiny, the powers of the universe, etc. Whatever you
believe, I want to share something that has given me the most peace in my life.
Protestant
theologian Reinhold Niebuhr composed the Serenity Prayer in the 1940s. It has
since been adopted by Alcoholics Anonymous and has become known to Christians,
as well as many non-Christians. It has given many people peace, and I hope it
can do the same for you.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Serenity
means being calm and untroubled. In a Huffington Post article titled, “5 Timeless Truths From The Serenity Prayer
That Offer Wisdom In The Modern Age,” the author explains that acceptance is
not laziness and does not make us complacent. In fact, acceptance is the last stage
in the five stages of grief because it is one of the hardest things to do. It’s
easy, and understandable, to get angry or be upset, but peace only comes with
acceptance.
The courage to change the things I can;
Many times
we can look at the world around us and think of the countless ways we want to
change it. And often, there are things you can do to make that change. But, as Alexander Solzhenitsyn asked, “If you wanted to put the world to
rights, who should you begin with: yourself or others?” The Huffington Post
article poses a question we should ask ourselves, “Is this how I really want to
live?” Seeing the flaws within in yourself takes courage, but to be able to
change them takes even more.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Having the
wisdom to know the difference between the things you can and cannot change is
probably one of the trickiest parts of this prayer. It takes patience and a lot
of trust and faith in yourself, God, or other people. But wisdom is something
that can be acquired through experience and time.
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| picture taken at Tivoli, Italy - Villa D'Este |
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time;
“Rather than wondering why we
aren't happier, or picking through every minute aspect of our lives, the prayer
asks us to focus on the present,” says Huffington Post. Constantly focusing on
the future is stressful. Though it’s very important to be prepared for the
future, we don’t know what will happen. All that is in our power to do is to
enjoy life at this very moment.
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Anyone who has ever overcome an
obstacle or hardship knows you can see the growth that happened during that time. I
don’t know why bad things happen, but I do know that I am grateful for every
bad thing that has ever happened to me. I have grown. I have seen others grow.
I have seen amazing beauty come out of such brokenness. It may take a lot more
time than you’re willing to wait, but I truly believe that something good can
come out of any tragedy.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
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| mosaic in St.Peter's Church - Vatican, Italy |
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
When so
many things are out of our control, the only thing we want to do is try and
gain control over anything we can. The hardest thing is to relinquish all
control to another, whether it’s God or someone trusted. Sometimes it’s just
trusting that a parent or friend can handle a situation that you can’t on your
own. But when you give up this control, which requires an enormous amount of
trust, then you’ll feel free and peaceful. The burden isn’t yours, or at least
not yours alone.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. Amen.
Once
you have surrendered your control and put trust in other, which requires a
courage of its own, then you may be surprised by how much happier you are. The
very profound thing about this line of the prayer is that it does not say you will
be “ultimately happy,” “extremely happy,” or “totally happy.” You may be “reasonably
happy” in this life, which means that happiness is not the goal of living, but
it can be a consequence of a life lived well. If you believe in an afterlife,
then this prayer asks that you may find supreme happiness with God, or
whichever higher power you believe in.
The
Huffington Post article concludes with this, “… there's something universal in
the prayer's quiet celebration of understanding our own potential, our own
limits, and our capacity for transcendence.” May you find peace through your
courage to change, ability to accept and surrender to the things you can’t, and
your wisdom to seek out what is in your control and what is not.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he
will direct your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6
Sources:
This is a breath of fresh air.
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